Stephanie Matsuba on Mental Health, Movement, and Finding Stability Through Structure

For Stephanie Matsuba—artist, actress, and instructor at BURN Los Angeles—movement has never been just about fitness. In this deeply honest conversation, Stephanie sits down with Amy Cohen Epstein to reflect on her journey living with bipolar II disorder, the early physical and emotional signals she learned to suppress, and the long road toward diagnosis, self-understanding, and care. From navigating illness as a teenager to discovering the stabilizing power of routine, structure, and community, this episode explores how mental health, movement, and self-advocacy intersect—and why listening to your body matters at every stage of life.

Amy Cohen Epstein: So, Ms. Stephanie Matsuba. I’m excited to hear your whole story—how you grew up, your background, and then how that connects to what you do now with fitness and mental health. You have such a unique energy, and that’s what made me want to sit down with you.

Stephanie Matsuba: Thank you for saying that. What’s funny is I used to follow you in another workout class. So when you came into my class, I was like, oh my God. That pressure. But I was also just excited we finally got to talk.

Stephanie Matsuba: I’m from Orange County. I’m half Haitian and half Japanese—my dad is Japanese from Hawaii, which is how I became connected to living there later. I grew up mostly in Orange County, went to USC, and a lot of what I do now revolves around overall health.

Amy Cohen Epstein: When did health start becoming important to you?

Stephanie Matsuba: I think I was always drawn to things that helped me express myself—sports, gymnastics, acting. But I was also a really sensitive kid. By high school, that sensitivity started interrupting my life. I’d feel uncomfortable or irritable out of nowhere, especially in social settings.

Stephanie Matsuba: My junior year of high school, I got really sick. I started having intense stomach pain, cysts, things that kept coming up. The morning after homecoming, I woke up and thought, something is really wrong.

Amy Cohen Epstein: Were your parents receptive?

Stephanie Matsuba: Very. My mom’s a nurse, my dad’s a surgeon. We went to doctors right away, but no one could figure out what it was. Eventually they decided to remove my gallbladder. I was 15.

Amy Cohen Epstein: That’s so young.

Stephanie Matsuba: It is. And even after surgery, I didn’t feel better. They said my gallbladder was inflamed, but not enough to explain the pain I described. That’s when I first started thinking, maybe I shouldn’t talk about this anymore.

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Stephanie Matsuba: I stopped going to school. Not intentionally—I just couldn’t get through the day. We talked about repeating my junior year, and that terrified me. I started tutoring so I could keep up.

Stephanie Matsuba: By senior year, I still didn’t feel good, but I normalized it. That became my “normal.”

Amy Cohen Epstein: So by 16, pain had become your baseline.

Stephanie Matsuba: Yes. And I stopped talking about it because I didn’t want to be a burden.

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Stephanie Matsuba: I went to USC for acting. Living on my own was really hard. That was when I started drinking. Alcohol became a way to escape how I felt.

Amy Cohen Epstein: It took you out of your head.

Stephanie Matsuba: Completely. And people liked me more when I was up. I felt fun, energetic, popular.

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Stephanie Matsuba: I stopped going to class again. I’d show up just enough to look fine, then crash at home. I got very good at covering.

Amy Cohen Epstein: Did anyone intervene?

Stephanie Matsuba: I saw therapists in high school and at USC. I was diagnosed with bipolar I when I was 17, but I didn’t tell my parents and I didn’t take the medication. It was a diagnosis without support.

Amy Cohen Epstein: That’s a lot for a teenager.

Stephanie Matsuba: It was. I Googled bipolar and saw Vincent van Gogh and Virginia Woolf. Everyone was white, older. I didn’t see myself, so I stayed quiet.

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Stephanie Matsuba: I now know I live with bipolar II. The biggest challenge is that it doesn’t go away. You can do everything right and still have episodes.

Stephanie Matsuba: What helps me is structure. Simple things—sleep, walking, eating, accountability. When I lived with my grandmother in Hawaii, she helped create structure without labeling it. Walking in the morning changed my whole day.

Amy Cohen Epstein: Structure keeps you regulated.

Stephanie Matsuba: Exactly. I need it. I used to feel shame about that, but now I see it as essential.

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Stephanie Matsuba: I take medication now, I’m in consistent therapy, and I have a support system—my family and close friends who understand what I live with. Relationships can be hard, but honesty matters.

Stephanie Matsuba: I talk openly now because representation matters. I didn’t see anyone who looked like me talking about bipolar. I want to be that person for someone else.

Amy Cohen Epstein: You have such an authentic energy. I think people feel safe around you because you’ve earned it through a hard journey.

Stephanie Matsuba: Thank you. That means a lot.

Editor’s Note: This interview has been edited for length, clarity, and readability.